Haunted (Part 11 of the series)
by Justright
Summary: Cole is haunted by awful memories.


**Disclaimer: **All the characters from Charmed belong to the Charmed Productions and Spelling. I only lay claim on the character(s) that I created myself… 

**Haunted**   
  
  
A man and a pregnant woman are running frantically, casting occasional fearful looks behind them. He holds her hand tight, trying to reassure her even though, he, himself is terrorized. 

The man spots an abandoned house, and rushes them through the door, looking for a place to hide. Once inside, they crouch in a corner, listening intently. The man whispers, "It's ok, he won't find us here." 

Sarah dares hoping, but she feels as if they have been running forever. She clings to the man, while putting her hand on her bulging belly. She feels such pain at the thought of her unborn child. They hoped to build a beautiful life for him. She knew that as a witch, her life would never be totally normal, but still it's what she wanted for her and her family. 

Her husband is tensing against her, and she gazes at him fearfully.  
"What is it," she whispers in a trembling voice. 

The man puts his fingers against his lips, signaling her to keep silent. Her level of anguish rises. She can see the fear on his face. "Why?" She asks herself, "why did I bring him into this?"   
Then she hears a sound that sends a shiver down her spine. She knows he is there… 

A tall shadow is coming toward them purposefully, and it's now obvious that they have been found. Sarah sees the knife just before the monster hits her husband, who falls to the ground without a sound. She knows there is nowhere else to go. Silently, she apologizes to her unborn child and the man she loved before feeling the knife plunging in her chest. The last thing she sees is the red demon apparently morphing into a man in front of her, and in that fleeting moment, she thinks that she saw pain in his eyes, and then came the darkness… 

Cole wakes up in a cold sweat. He looks about, expecting to see the couple bleeding to death right there in front of him. He is breathing hard trying to chase away the terrible image. He turns to Phoebe; somehow afraid that she might have seen what he has done. And this, even knowing that it's an irrational thought. "How could she know his nightmares?" He looks at her with eyes filled with sorrow at the thought of what Phoebe might do if she knew. As if she felt his stare, she opens her eyes, surprised to see him sitting there in the middle of the night.  
"What is it?" 

Cole forces himself to smile as he reassures her.  
"It's nothing baby, go back to sleep," he says, kissing her forehead. He then caresses her stomach lovingly.  
"This little one needs his mom rested." 

Phoebe smiles back, thinking that everything is fine. She just adds before going back to sleep, "I love you." 

Cole lies back down beside her and whispers, "I love you too," to which she smiles sleepily, her eyes already closing. 

When Cole is certain that Phoebe's not looking anymore, his smile melts away and is replaced by a worried and pained expression. 

By the morning, Cole has managed to set aside the terrible vision and is in a good mood when he comes down for breakfast, the nightmare only a vague memory now. He knows he has to live with the remorse that he carries with him every day, but he has never been one to dwell on things that can't be changed. All he hopes for is that the wrong he has done can at least be outbalanced by the good he has all intention to continue doing in the future. 

Phoebe smiles at him, but she seems surprised as well.   
"Hey it's not like you to get up so late." 

Cole had not noticed the time.   
"I guess I was more tired than I thought." 

"Well everybody is entitled to a lazy morning here and there. 

I just wish the little bugger here would let me sleep more." Phoebe utters with laugh. "I think he's as restless as his mom and dad. I dread to see how active he's gonna be."  
However, even as she's saying this, her expression is one of a proud mom to be. "Meanwhile I look gigantic now." Cole sits beside her and kisses her lightly, smiling happily.  
"What are you talking about? You've never been more beautiful. 

Prue gags jokingly at this.  
"Phoebe will you stop fishing for compliments," she says with a teasing smile. 

"Why? I love them." 

They all laugh at that. 

Piper and Leo are just entering the dining room. "Hey what's so funny?" Piper questions as she takes in their amusement. 

"Oh just Phoebe being herself..." Prue quips. 

Piper doesn't exactly understand, and she trails, "Ok." 

Leo decides that now is as good a time as ever to tell them of their plan. "Hey, me and Piper are planning a little vacation, since things have been so quiet in the last few weeks." 

"That is a great idea," Phoebe approves with a bright smile. "We'll cross our fingers that it'll last. Where would you go?" 

"We were thinking of the island we went for our honeymoon." Piper replies. "Our time there was cut short and we'd like to try again as a six months anniversary thing, you know?" 

"That's a wonderful idea," Prue approves as well. "We'll do everything in our power to make sure that this time, you won't be interrupted." 

"Still, don't be afraid to call in case you need us," Leo offered while smiling gratefully at his in laws. 

"Don't worry about us. When were you thinking of leaving?" 

"Well, now would be as good a time as ever. If you don't mind, of course..." Piper offered with a hint of hesitation in her voice. 

"Not at all," Prue answered. "We'll miss you but it's your time now. Have fun!" Piper and Leo hug everyone effusively and Leo then orbs them away. 

"The house is gonna be so quiet. I miss Joel too. Did you talk to Paul about him visiting yet," Phoebe asks Prue. 

"I'm working on it. I think we might have a compromise. Paul says that as long as Joel doesn't tell us where he lives, he'll bring him very soon. 

"That would be great; the little guy grew on me," Cole says with a smile. 

"Now that's good news... I was afraid he had given you a bad feeling about being a parent." 

"It wouldn't matter; our baby is gonna be perfect." Cole smiles proudly at her. 

"Alright," Prue says with a smirk, "I can't take more of this. You guys are too much; I gotta go to work." 

Once they are alone, Phoebe becomes more serious.  
"Did you mean it about Joel and our baby?" 

"Yes of course... why?" 

Phoebe hesitates.  


"It's just I know you never really had a family and sometimes I wonder if you don't feel it's too much too soon..." 

"There is nothing that makes me happier than the thought of being with you and our child, Phoebe. I just wish it was simpler, like a more normal life." 

"We can at least make it as normal as possible." 

"Are you sure that you don't have any doubts," Cole asks, as the memory of last night's nightmare is coming back to him. "I mean I know I'm not exactly the ideal man." 

Phoebe caresses his face and forces him to look directly at her.  
"You're the one I want, that's all that matters. You make me happy." Cole's smile returns.  
"You really are special, you know that?" 

Phoebe smiles happily.  


"See I did it again. I do love those flatteries." 

Cole kisses her happily and again forgets about the past, at least for the moment. 

From a corner of the room, a vague shadow is observing them, then it seems to shrug and vanish. 

Neither Cole, nor Phoebe noticed… 

Cole hoped that this nightmare would never come back but he had been sorely mistaken. The next few nights were torture, each one filled with awful memories of his past, as if the ghosts of his victims were all coming back to haunt him. Each one of these nightmares was leaving him more and more exhausted. He had the feeling that he was reliving those events rather than dreaming them. Among all of those terrible memories, the one about the woman with child was the most difficult for him. That night when he had killed her and her husband, he had felt remorse for the first time in his life. At the time it had been a fleeting feeling that he had rejected as quickly as it had come. But now, as he was going to become a father himself, this memory was haunting him day and night more than any other. No matter how much he tried to forget, he only had to look at Phoebe to get a terrible pang of remorse. Every day, it was becoming more difficult to keep this from her. 

One night, he tried not to sleep, but he was so tired already that he couldn't help it. Right away the dream he dreaded the most came. Walking slowly but purposefully, he was stalking them. His goal was clear, kill the witch and her child. And every one who would get in the way. With no doubts in his mind he felt more than saw where they were. Now confident, he entered the abandoned house and walked toward their hiding place. The fear in their eyes was a pleasure to see. Without hesitation he killed the husband, and then he turned to her. In her eyes however, more than fear, he saw sorrow. For an instant he hesitated, something inside pulling him away. Nevertheless, his instincts were too strong... he had to kill the witch and he did in one swift move. Again, he looked at her eyes and saw the same sorrow, not for herself but for the ones that had been lost because of both of them. He let his human form come out. And for a moment, regrets washed over him. Then she fell and he shook the feeling away. Still, a strange instinct had pushed him to look closer. He rolled her toward him, intent on getting one last look at those sorrowful eyes. Then, he began screaming crazily. The face of the woman was Phoebe's. 

Behind him, he heard a cruel laughter through his cries, and a voice saying:  
"Remember who you are Belthazor, remember…" 

Cole awakens with a start, still screaming, and this time Phoebe is wide awake, watching him with obvious concern.  
"Cole what is it?"

At first, he can't even look at her, or answer for that matter. The need for release is screaming at him that he should just tell her and hope for the best, but the fear of losing her wins over. Cole finally takes a few deep breaths, and then turns toward Phoebe. As calmly as he can, he tells her, "Don't worry, it was just a nightmare. Nothing to talk about, really..." 

But Phoebe won't let it go so easily.  
"Listen, it's the third time this week. The other nights, I almost woke you up but you calmed down before I did. Now I know it's not just one nightmare. If something's wrong, you've got to tell me. Don't you think it'd make it easier on you?" 

For a moment, Cole is tempted to tell her, but then he dismisses it and resolutely lies back down, turning his back to her.   
"There is nothing to tell, Phoebe. Please stop worrying about this." 

If she could have seen his expression, Phoebe might have been scared for him, but he seemed so much calmer that she decided to drop it, for now…

The next day, Paul finally decided to bring back Joel for a short visit and when he arrived, all the worries seemed forgotten. 

"Hey Aunt Phoebe," Joel says joyously, running to her and hugging her. 

Phoebe smiles and offers him a few cookies that they baked just for his visit. 

The boy doesn't wait for more and runs to the kitchen, as if he had never left. 

"Well he didn't lose any time," Prue says although with a big smile.   
She turns to Paul, "So how does he adapt to his new family?" 

Paul smiles. "He seems to be doing very well there, but I must admit he was very excited to come back here." 

"We're all very happy he's here. We missed him." Phoebe cheers. 

"What amazed me is that he included your boyfriend in the people he said he missed." 

"Why should that surprise you? They get along very well." 

Paul shrugs, as he remains dubious about this. 

Meanwhile Cole, still very tired, decided to stay in the kitchen and let them greet the boy. Suddenly, he feels as if he is pulled from the inside and a vision comes in front of him as vivid as his dreams have been. 

"The woman from the dream is standing there, with her sorrowful eyes fixated on him. He tries to tell her how sorry he is, but the words won't come out. He can see the knife planted in her chest and the blood running from the wound and he almost feels sick. A voice coming from behind him says:  
"Look, I almost got you now; you can't escape me." 

Joel interrupts the vision when he calls to Cole. This one sees that the boy seems a little scared.   
"Uncle Cole, what's wrong?" 

Cole realizes that he is shaking and on his face there is such pain that the boy wonders if he was hurt. 

Cole takes a deep breath before addressing Joel directly.   
"It's ok, Joel. I'm just very tired." Then he continues with a little more enthusiasm.   
"Hey how are you boy?" 

Joel is relieved to see Cole apparently better and he goes to the cookie jar.   
"I'm happy to be here. I couldn't wait." 

"And your new family?" 

"You were right; it's fun to have a little sister. Although, she can be a bother sometimes…" 

Cole smiles at that.   
"I wouldn't know. Wanna join the others now?" 

Joel acquiesces and follows him out, stopping an instant at the door, his eyes attracted to what he thinks is a movement to his left. There he sees a shadow and almost goes to it because it doesn't seem to belong. However, Cole calls to him and he dismisses it. 

The shadow moves toward the door, and then simply vanishes. 

All afternoon, they talked at length about Joel's new life although every one of them was careful not to ask any details on the identity of the family, as per their promise to Paul. Cole tried to participate in the conversation but couldn't help being constantly distracted by his inner thoughts. At last, Paul and Prue decided to go for a ride with Joel, and once they were alone, Phoebe turned to Cole and voiced her worries about him.   
"Cole, there's something wrong, I'm sure of it now." 

Cole still denies it.   
"No... nothing is wrong, I'm just feeling very tired these days, that's all." 

Phoebe is unconvinced.   
"I'm sure there's more to it than that. You seem so worried by moment." 

Cole is trying to think of a better excuse, when he suddenly feels the pull again. This time, it's stronger. Rather than a vision , he feels an impulse he thought he'd never have again. 

"Cole?" Phoebe questions, as she sees the dramatic change in his expression. 

Cole steps away from her slowly, the urge to kill screaming in his head. He is now very scared of what he might do and before she can say anything else, he shimmers out, leaving her totally dumbfounded. 

Later, when Prue and Paul come back, she pulls them aside suggesting that Joel went for a snack. The boy doesn't have to be told twice and after he has left, Phoebe begins immediately.   
"Something's wrong with Cole. I knew there was something all week, but now I believe that it's much worse than I thought." 

Prue is worried by what her sister is saying and because of Phoebe's nervous attitude. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Earlier, after you left, he started acting weird, and then he just left without a word. And I don't mean through the door. I'm so worried Prue." 

Paul intervenes.   
"What exactly made you think that something was wrong before?" 

Phoebe turns to him.   
"He's been having nightmares... and during the day he often seemed lost in thought, none too pleasant from the look of him. I asked him many times to tell me what it was about, but he never did." 

"What changed earlier?" 

"All of a sudden, he looked very scared for no apparent reason and he just left." 

Paul is sympathetic to Phoebe's plight but still has to add:   
"Look, I don't know what this afternoon was about but for the matter of the nightmares, don't you think it might have to do with deep seated remorse? Cole has many terrible things on his conscience and frankly, what surprises me is that he didn't have them before." 

Phoebe is upset at his attitude but still answers as calmly as she can. 

"Cole's had to deal with this before and still does. This is different. He looked exhausted as if he hadn't slept the whole week." She hesitates, only for a moment, and then she utters uncertainly: "He looked haunted…" 

Paul becomes pensive at that, but Joel, who has returned and heard the last part adds something even weirder.   
"Haunted? Like by a ghost?" 

The others turn to him in surprise:   
"What are you saying?" 

Joel hesitates, afraid they might not believe him, but they seem interested.   
"Well when I went to the kitchen earlier, Uncle Cole seemed very upset, and then he said that he was better. But before we left the kitchen, I saw something there. 

"What did you see?" Paul questioned. 

"Well I'm not sure. It looked like the shadow of a person, but nobody else was there. I thought I was mistaken but since you're talking about ghosts..." 

"That wasn't exactly what we meant... but now…" 

"What?" Phoebe questions anxiously. 

"I am just wondering if something else might not have triggered the dreams." 

"Like what? A ghost?" Prue says incredulously. 

"Well it's not so impossible. Maybe it's the ghost of one of his victims who has found a way to enter his dreams. Maybe something happened and connected them somehow? But no matter , only Cole can tell you that. You're gonna have to make him talk. If he doesn't, I don't know what might happen. The first thing we have to do is to find him." 

"If he was that tormented, I think I know where he might have gone." 

"You think he returned to the cemetery?" 

"Maybe… Anyway we've got to start somewhere." 

Inside the mausoleum, Cole is fighting his inner demon with all his might. Still, he is so exhausted that he doesn't know if he will succeed. By moments, he thinks that it would be so much easier to just forget the remorse and let himself go bad again. No more pain… Nevertheless, he refuses this. He has made a conscious choice to live by Phoebe's expectations and he intends to keep doing it. Even awake, he thinks that he can hear the screams of his victims, but nothing compares to the vision of the sad woman. 

Phoebe calling to him pulls him out of his waking nightmare. She is coming in and when he sees her, Cole stands up and moves away from her until his back is against the wall. 

"Cole?" Phoebe questions worriedly. 

The others are coming in too but they stay behind as Phoebe approaches Cole slowly. 

"Phoebe stay back; don't come here, please." 

"Why?" Phoebe asks with sadness in her voice. 

Cole can't bring himself to tell her and Phoebe continues advancing toward him. When Phoebe is close enough to touch him, she stops and waits for him to look at her. When he doesn't, she says,   
"Cole come on, you've got to let us help you." 

Cole refuses to meet her gaze. "You can't." 

Phoebe insists however.   
"You don't know that. We think we know what might be happening to you." 

That seems to startle him a little, but he still doesn't reply. "You've got to tell us what it is you see in those nightmares. That's the only way we can make it stop." 

At that, Cole bursts in anger. 

"Nobody can make it stop. It's much too late for that." 

Phoebe is taken aback by his outburst but she still doesn't leave. Instead she comes closer, gingerly taking his hand in hers. 

"Cole you can tell me anything. Nothing's gonna change the way I feel about you. Never." 

"You don't know." Cole says painfully. 

"I know that what you don't want to tell is probably terrible, but I knew that before. It never stopped me from loving you. Because I know that you've changed. And so do you." 

Cole hesitates but feels somewhat better, not so much out of control for the moment, and he relaxes.   
"What do you think is happening?" 

"We think a ghost is haunting you. Someone that you…" 

Cole finishes the sentence for her. "Killed…" 

Phoebe sighs: "Yes. And somehow, whoever is doing it found a way to haunt your dreams and maybe now even more than that." 

Cole whispers: "Sarah…" 

"Who is that?" 

"This happened almost forty years ago. If this is her, then it took her quite a while before she acted." Then, Cole tells Phoebe what happened. After he's done talking, Paul coughs to attract their attention.   
"I think I might know why it's happening now." 

"Why?" Cole questions. 

"Before, she couldn't use your remorse against you... but now since you'll be a father yourself, she uses your doubts against you." 

"I don't have any doubt about my child." 

"Except that maybe you don't deserve him after killing hers?" Cole knew all along what was just said, but until that moment, he hadn't been able to face up to it. Still, acknowledging the problem won't make it go away, but Cole is grateful that the demon inside him seems to have receded somewhat. 

"Come on! Come home with us," Phoebe exclaims then. "We'll figure it out together." 

Before they could take a single step, a black shadow appears in their midst,and then Sarah becomes visible, appearing exactly the way she looked like the day she died. She immediately addresses Cole.   
"If you think your regrets mean anything to me, you're mistaken. I'll never stop, not until you and all you care about is destroyed. 

The moment she started talking, Cole felt himself slip again, as the demon was trying to come out. As if she could summon him... 

Then as she disappears before they could try talking to her, the sensation recedes almost immediately. 

"I don't know how or why, but she's bringing the demon back in me." Cole exclaims. 

"I may have an idea on the why, and he looks intently at Phoebe, who squirms under the scrutiny. 

"You think…" 

"Yes." 

"Then just go; leave me here." 

"No!" Phoebe shouts. 

"I won't risk it. And I can't fight a ghost." 

"Maybe there's another way. What if the wrong was righted?" 

"She's been dead for forty years and as much as I wish it never happened, nothing can change that." 

"But what if we could change it?" 

"You mean go back in time?" 

"Yeah! Of course, that would be tricky and the timeline mustn't be changed, at least not too much." 

"Why?" Cole asks curiously. 

"As much as you might wish to warn yourself or try to change what's gonna happen during those forty years, it'd be a terrible mistake." 

"How so? I mean, if we could save many more people..." 

"But then, Cole might be vanquished by any of the bounty hunters who would surely be sent after him. In this eventuality, another could be sent after you. And this time the world might really have to do without the charmed ones… And like I told you before," Paul adds, turning to Cole, you still have more thing to do for them. No, we can change that little piece of history maybe, but no more." 

"When do we start?" 

"When is the definite operative word here. You'll have to tell us exactly what happened and when. Then I'll study the timeline, now that I know who she is. Only then will we make our move. Lets go back to the Manor, and you Cole, more talk of staying behind. I really think you can't be alone right now." 

Cole sighs but agrees. 

At the Manor, while Paul is researching the intervening forty years, Cole is still having the visions but now that he knows what they are, he manages to fight them. Phoebe waits with him, even though he told her to stay away. Cole realizes though, that she might be the only reason why he didn't allow the demon to take over already. 

"Are you ok?" Phoebe asks after one more of the visions stopped. 

"I don't know how much longer I can take this, Phoebe. Sleeping's out of the question. But I'm getting so tired." 

Phoebe leans against his chest.   
"Patience my love, we'll save you." 

"I wish I never had to tell you these things." 

"Maybe you should've told me before on the contrary. You know what they say... confession's good for the soul." 

Cole almost smiles at that.   
"I don't think it'd be such a good idea. Those memories and regrets are mine alone. I never want to burden you with them. All I can do, if this works, is try to make amend for them." 

Paul finally returns.   
"Ok I don't think it will have any negative effect to save them, but we're gonna have to be careful. Your past self must not be able to recognize Phoebe or Prue. It might change everything in the future, so I will mask them. Since you don't know where they were before that night we'll have to cut it short. I'll move them away from the place myself, but you'll have to keep your old self busy," Paul says to Cole, "he can't be allowed to track us down. Invent any story to keep him away from us." 

"Now that should be interesting." 

"Prue, you should call your sister back. There's no point in her coming in the past, but it's better if she's here in case we fail." Saying this, Paul looks intently at Cole, who understands that this is a "do or die" situation. 

"Right!" Prue utters, and then, she simply proceeds to call mentally to Leo. Piper and he arrive shortly after. Their high mood is quickly shot to hell when the others explain to them what transpired during their vacation. 

Paul, Prue, Phoebe and Cole assemble in the middle of the living room and without more than a few words under his breath, Paul transports them into the past. They end up right beside the abandoned house. At the sight of this place, Cole shivers. He braces himself, expecting the vision to come back, but nothing happens. 

Paul, who noticed his tense expression, says, "In this timeline, Sarah's still alive. She won't be able to reach you here." 

"It's still the same place though. And a memory I'd have preferred not to have." 

"If everything goes as planned, this memory'll be gone forever. The moment she's safe, we'll be returned to our own time with no memory of those events except that you, Cole will remember a failure, no more. I'm the only one who's gonna remember everything. But let's not lose any more time. I'll wait for Sarah and her husband inside the house." 

"And Belthazor, won't he remember us in the future?" 

"Believe me, you will look nothing like yourself to him. He'll see bag ladies instead." 

"Yuck!" Prue exclaims. 

"Don't complain," Paul says calmly. "Ask your companion here what he'd think of beggars in the street." 

"I wouldn't have given them a second look." 

"There you go." Paul dismisses. " Now, take your places and watch for them." 

They barely have time to hide before the couple engage in the alley, running toward them. As planned they let them by, and then put themselves between the witch and her husband and Belthazor. 

It doesn't take long before the latter shows up. However, he stops short when seeing Cole standing in front of him. 

"What the hell?" 

"Almost," Cole replies. " Now turn around and leave." 

"And why would I do that? You must be an illusion created by the witch. Although I can't imagine how she knew of my human form." 

Without thinking more about this, he launches toward Cole and battles himself. Unfortunately for Cole, the demon in him was always stronger than his human form, and the girls soon have to intervene to give more time to Paul. Prue tks Belthazor backward, which of course gets his full attention toward the bag ladies he had not noticed before. He throws a fireball in Prue's direction and she barely has time to get out of the way. Phoebe finally gets into the battle after she worked through the confusion of seeing two Cole/Belthazor at the same time. 

Eventually however, since they can't hurt him, the battle seems to turn to his advantage and he has almost managed to go through them, when suddenly everything disappears… 

The girls are greeting Joel at the door, and he runs to Phoebe, jumping in her arm for a big hug. She offers him cookies… 

Later that day, all of them are in the living room talking about Joel's new life and Cole seems to find the stories about his new sister mighty entertaining. The boy has a knack for telling them. 

Paul looks at them curiously. He knows more than they'll ever know and now another of his little secrets will stay untold forever. 


End file.
